My
first experience with a Narcissist.....
I realized my ex-husband
was a narcissist when I was divorcing him. Not properly diagnosed with Bipolar
disorder for years, he was misdiagnosed with seasonal depression etc.. etc..
etc... It wasn't until I had to demand he undergo a complete neuro-psych evaluation
in order to see our children did he get the proper diagnosis. Upon a lot of
self-evaluation and research, I realized he was indeed a narcissist. It became
more and more apparent as time evolved now 2 years post-divorce we are still in
court proceedings. He takes and takes and takes.. My home, career, the boys’
sports, etc.. etc.. etc.. I finally realized I have nothing left to give. Even
my kids want to stay in his 5 bedroom home with him and his new life.. He left
us with nothing. Ruined everything to its core. It is hard to forgive for he is
not capable of being the man I once knew. I am tired of being angry, tired of being
upset. Sick of the Family court system taking a man’s side vs the woman who
raised the children.
I was a stay at home
mother for the majority of the time we were married and had children. I went
back to school when my youngest was in his last year of pre-school. Graduated
and found part time work while my boys were in school. He moved us around a bit
so it was hard for me to find anything permanent or gain the experience I
needed in my field. In 2011 I finally found full time work in my field only to
work just 7 months before he moved us again for the last time. 2 months into a
cross country move he told me to "take the kids and move back east" I
was left with no home, no career, no money, 2 kids, & 2 dogs. Thankfully my
mom took us in and we have a roof over our head. She also paid for my attorney
to get child support from him.. Upon finding out that the family court system
expects me to work and support my children the same as him. How can a woman do
this? While he was building his career, I was home taking care of my children.
I do not have the amount of experience in my field that he does and due to the
many moves and the fact I haven't worked in 2 years isn't making it easy to get
back into my field. Then I have the day care issue...He doesn't even have to
pay alimony in our state. Working a mininum wage job will not allow me to support
a household in our area, put food on the table and pay for child care. I don't
know the first step to take to get back on my feet. I feel lost in so many
ways...
It is hard not to be
bitter but I am trying to move on, take care of my children and figure out, at
44, what to do next....Thankfully he is not violent and has never physically
hurt our boys but emotionally he has permanently damaged all of us...
Distraught in MA-
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